Saturday, December 24, 2016

WEEK SIXTEEN VS. NEW YORK JETS W 41-3

twas the morn before Christmas
when our pats played to clinch
playoff homefield advantage
would the jets play the grinch?

the weather was stormy 
as the first half got started
but touchdown by touchdown
the bluer skies parted

our fearless QB
played just like a machine
throwing 27 passes
and completing 17

the offense kept coming 
tommy worked every angle 
with touchdowns to bennett
to white and to lengle 


even blount rushed two touchdowns
and steph nailed two kicks
but the highlight this game
was the defensive picks

our CBs were smoking
and caught more receptions
than the jets' own receivers 
with three interceptions 

malcolm butler had two
he made new york cry "mommy!"
plus he fell on a fumble!
and he earned this week's tommy


now we'd all like our season
to end with more wins
so think happy thoughts 
as we take on the 'phins 

may your morrow be merry 
many drinks may you have 
happy Christmas to all 
see you next week, love dav


Wednesday, December 21, 2016

WEEK FIFTEEN @ DENVER BRONCOS W 16-3

holy crap, kids!

the patriots beat the broncos at mile high! i have to admit i didn't see that one coming. it wasn't the prettiest win ever, but any W is a lot prettier than an L, and this one sealed up the afc east and a first round bye. i'll take it!

our fearless quarterback kinda seemed to be playing the function that brock osweiler played in denver last year: just stand there and try not to screw things up too much. we all know how that worked out for brock! or tommy wound up 16 of 32 for 188 yards, which is kind of amazing since i'm not sure he completed a pass in the entire first quarter. it was mile high, so of course, he did have two fumbles, but gisele clearly taught him a few tricks during his suspension: tommy did an excellent job just standing there looking pretty!


happily, the rest of our team looked pretty in a whole different way. blount smashed in another touchdown in his record-smashing season, and poor jules earned every single one of his 75 yards - along with a few well deserved bonus yards after taking an insane late hit. gostkowski happily nailed three field goals, and our defense continued to force turnovers and give the offense a hand. all in all, it was a happy day in denver, which is a sentence i never thought i'd write. there are some solid totw contenders, but i'm giving this one to logan ryan. not only did he lead the team in tackles (even thought that's not a good thing... hello linerbackers!) but he also came up with a key redzone interception. nice work, logan, you guys are really starting to look like a defense!


we play the jets christmas eve morning, so i'll try to crank out the annual holiday totw on christmas eve eve. until then, have a great week, and go pats!

love dav

Wednesday, December 14, 2016

WEEK THIRTEEN VS. LOS ANGELES RAMS W 26-10/WEEK FOURTEEN VS. BALTIMORE RAVENS W 30-23

hey kids-

puppymergency last week, but our patriots beat the rams and tommy broke a record by earning his 201st victory. he got the totw.




in equally exciting and more current news, our patriots beat the ravens on monday night football - and they did so in very convincing fashion. even with the glaring mistakes, this is the first time i've felt good about this team in about a month. this season may not be lost after all.

our fearless quarterback is undefeated when facing the NFL's #1 defense, and he showed why on monday night. tommy went 25/38 and 406 yards and three touchdowns - including one loooooong pretty pass down the middle of the field into the waiting arms of chris hogan. he also had one boneheaded interception that was totally his fault but we're going to ignore.  tommy got just as fired up in this game when the offense was performing poorly and when they were performing well, showing us the leadership, competitiveness, and general roguish charm that inspired the totw - and, you know, earned him four super bowl rings.



it was pretty exciting to see the patriots play at the level they did on monday night - especially against the ravens, who always play hard against us. i never discount what gronk brings to the field, but sometimes it seems like the chemistry is better without him. i don't know if that's because everyone else is working that much harder to fill in the gaps or if the changes to the game plan are just more suitable to the remaining guys on the field - but monday was a case in point. once the offense got into rhythm, they looked unstoppable. shockingly, the defense started out in rhythm and finally looked freaking awesome - making tackles, breaking up passes, and pulling down yet another interception. they also scored their third safety of the season - thanks in large part to ryan allen's super-hero punting. the punt return team clearly needs some help, but all in all, it's awesome when i'm struggling to award the totw because of an abundance of options rather than a lack of them. after a lot of consideration, i'm giving this week's tommy to chris hogan. how much fun is chris hogan having as a patriot - and how much fun is he to watch? after my early season frustrations, i'm amazed by how quickly he learned the offense and how productive he's become. he ended monday with 5 receptions and 129 yards - and his very first totw. may it be the first of many, chris!



we play denver on sunday kids, and i'd be feeling a lot better about it if we weren't playing at mile high. let's hope all the snow here in portland today blows on over to denver - a snowy field certainly couldn't hurt! think your happy patriots thoughts that the patriots successful streak of animal taming continues, and i'll catch you back here next time.


have a great week, and go pats!


love dav